THE COAT

I got a call sometime ago that I would have to be leaving soon, it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long since I arrived but it’s almost that time. I really dreaded the fact that I had to go; just thinking about what a good time I had during my stay but it’s only a matter of time before He comes to pass me my coat. I did all I could do before that time, I mean I tried to make the best of it. I wanted to make the time that I spent here count because I knew once I left; I would not be back. It was a little frustrating that everyone didn’t seem to grasp the fact that I was leaving. There was no going away party, no big dinner, No one really came by to see me and surprising enough the ones I felt that I really connected with showed no emotion or concern. I came to the point where I had given up and decided to sit and wait until it was time to go. It’s getting later and later and I haven’t left yet, I had no way of calling to find out when He was coming to get me. I couldn’t help but to wish that someone could keep me company until He got here, so I just watched TV. TV is what entertained me for most of my wait. It had gotten really late and I had grown tired so I decided to go to bed and as I laid there in bed all I could think about was how I wish I could have enjoyed myself a little more and who I would have like to have seen and where I would like to have gone but eventually I fell asleep. Suddenly I felt someone grab me by the shoulders and shake me, when I turned over to see who it was; I noticed that it was Him standing over me….with my coat,it was time to go.

PRICE CHECK...PLEASE

Straight from the manufacture, in a very nice package, not beat up, no bumps or bruises, on the way to place myself on the market but the one thing my manufacture neglected to tell me was how much I was worth. So here I am on the shelf amongst a lot of other products that has the same goal as me, which is to belong to someone. Being that I didn’t really know my worth I thought it was best if I sold myself for cheap because I felt it would make my new owner like me better or maybe they would appreciate me more. Before I knew it, I was sold to the first buyer. I was so happy because I was no longer on the market but the buyer never understands because they aren’t the ones that desire to be wanted and it showed. I found myself being returned a lot, with a lot of complaints like, this thing calls too damn much, it ran out of money, it’s stupid, it doesn’t look as good as it did when I bought it or I found something better. I was sometimes left confused because I felt like I did my job. I did what a lot of things that many other products probably wouldn’t have done for them, hell I think I went above and beyond. Despite of everything, I always took the time out to polish myself back up so that I looked good before I headed back out on that shelf but I was tired, so tired I couldn’t function right for anyone else or maybe it was that I didn’t want too because of the abuse that I took from my previous owners, which lead to me being returned over and over again. It took a while before I realized that it’s not only about my presentation or how much I can do, the issue was that I was selling myself for cheap, easy to obtain, no one had to work hard to get me and no one can really appreciate anything that they didn’t have to work for. I had to do a price check and now I know why I had never been given a price and that is because I was never to be sold. I was not to let anyone feel they had ownership of me because then they will feel like they can do whatever they want, have the upper hand and you have no say so. Today, even though I’ve been beat, bump and bruised, I still have a lot of bidders and I pass up everyone. The next person will know that I can’t be bought, they will know that I am PRICELESS.

A FEW MINOR REPAIRS.

So I remember when I first saw this house, it had lots of charm...tons. As I viewed it I noticed there were some creeks in the wood as I walked across and it needed some minor repairs but it was fine with me, all I knew is that I really liked the place. So in less than a month, the house belonged to me. I was so excited I went and got brand new furniture for it and new paint and everything, I invited people over every chance I got to show them my new place and they were happy for me. I had been living there for 6 month by that time I had got use to the place and realized that the excitement i had for it had gone....don't get me wrong, I still loved my place but I had no reason to be excited anymore, I guess I had gotten comfortable. Time went by and all the stuff I had been doing for the house stopped, I had gotten lazy, before I knew even the little things about the house bothered me...things that i knew about the house before I bought it, like the creek in the wood. I would sometimes sit on the porch and look around the neighborhood to see the nicely painted houses and their freshly mowed lawns and pretty green grass. I remember when my grass was as green as theirs were, but it started to turn a little brown and I stopped cutting it so that brown dead grass had spread across the yard and grew and grew. At this point and time I was tired with this place,the same people that were happy for me when I bought it start telling me it wasn't worth it and to sell the place.As much as I love this place, the things that everyone had been saying started to make since. I would ride around looking at new houses and in my mind i knew i wasn't going to buy them but hey i was just looking, not knowing that made me start comparing my house to the ones I saw on the streets in which I thought were better than mine. The more I stopped caring about the house the more it started falling apart and by that time I couldn't take it anymore so i decided to put the house on the market. I said to myself having a house is too much for me at the time and I don't think I'm ready for it so I rented a nice little apartment, it was a month to month lease and I had no real commitment to the place, I didn't have to put in any work...I just lived there but you know with time I then grew tired of living in an apartment and missed how it felt to have my own home. I went and searched around til finally something caught my eye. Same as the last one...I was excited, I showed it off, I got new things for it but you know what.. after awhile its grass start turning brown and even in this house things feel apart...even worst. I sat and wondered what happen to the house that I sold so I decided to ride by and see it. Wow, it looked great!! It had nice green grass, new paint and even some add ons. I couldn't believe my eyes. By the time i got home all i could think about was how good that house looked now and How I should have kept it. I like my new house but that house was something special and as I see all I needed to do was water and cut the grass sometimes and fix things when it got broken not to mention I let people make me believe I had a peace of crap house. I woke up the next morning and went straight to home depot to get things to fix the issues in my home, I bought a lawn mower and a garden hoes. I was determine to get my home together. Today I walk around my home and its looks wonderful, new appliances,paint and everything. I sat on the porch and took a look at my nice green grass and mowed lawn, then I realized that all this time I had let my place fall apart and all it need was a few minor repairs.

WHEN GIVING GOES WRONG

As we all know in life there are givers and takers, Although there seems like there are more people looking to take then give. There's really no need to go in on the takers because we already know how we feel about them but what about those of us that love to give?

Sometimes knowing that you can do something for others is a good feeling, we love to help others in need and we do it with out expecting any merits because in most cases these people are our friends, family and significant other. We want so much to make the people in our lives happy, we become blinded by the tittles that they hold in our lives and end up giving more than what we bargained for. The truth is that when you are giving what ever you are giving; be it, money, food, support,time, etc... we give a little off ourselves in hopes that the people in our lives return it. Our love to give makes us sacrifice ourselves and our lives for others. Not knowing when to stop giving could make you lose yourself in the worst way. When you give and nothing is being returned, you allow people to walk with a piece of you every time, right down to your heart and eventually you lose your head. We give so much until it is expected of us, to the point to where you are giving to maintain a relationship with those closes to us, we do it because thats all we know how to do. I feel what we need to realize is that giving is good and that it can only become a bad thing for ourselves. Giving should be something that is done from your heart and not something you do because you feel obligated. Most importantly... learn the word NO and discard anyone who can't except it because that my friend...is a Taker.

SHEEP

In this post I would like to be mad at me more than I could be mad at anyone else. The crazy thing is ;when presented with someone Else's situation, we have all the answers in the world but when it comes down to taking care of our selves in many different situations we choose not to apply what we know because any time you can sit and give someone the run down on how they should handle their business you can very well decided for yourself, the problem is doing what you want to do against what you need to do. I have this thing to where I like to take preventative measure at all times to prevent something that I didn't like from happening again...and I do just that, However I'm not going about it the right way. I find myself trying to deal with the bad fruit my tree is producing instead of dealing with the tree..if that makes sense to you. I deal and worry myself about the problem at hand and not the problem, the thing or the person that is causing the problems. I also hate to lose and what I mean by that is relationships ( friends, family, love interest) but i am coming to realize loosing some of them could be the best thing for me. I look at everyone in my surroundings as sheep but in every bunch there are wolves in sheep's clothing and they will eat you for everything that you have including your sanity. Whats worst is that we know exactly who they are but we only want to see what we want to see and that's what they want us too. I've come to the point where I'm bout to start pulling wool off those who don't mean me any good and expose their assess for the person that they really are because now matter what you can only move so far when there are wolves amongst you.

P.S ..... just in case you thin this song is about you....you're reading to deep into my personal thoughts lol.